Life is what's happening right now

Sometimes I wonder when my life will begin.

I will say to myself...

"When we move back to Ohio, I will do so much."  or

"When we move to Ireland, this will happen."  or

"When I own a house I will finally be an adult and a real American."  or

"When my business is a true success I will be content."  or

"When, when, when...."

I am a dreamer.  I day dream all.the.time.  I walk my dogs about two hours a day and I never wear an iPod.  I don't even own an iPod.  I just think.

That's a lot of thinking {and walking, I know}.

I dream about when, what ifs, I can't wait until's but I often forget to say "Right now I will do......"

Life is happening right now.  

I never quite realized how much I did this until the other day when I listened to an interview on NPR with Caitlin Moran.  Caitlin Moran wrote a book called How to Be a Woman.  I have not read it, but it is now in my Amazon shopping cart.

In the interview she talked about how women often have a point in their mind when life will begin.  In her mind, her life would "begin" when she was able to lose weight and be perfectly thin.  

"And I think loads of women have this idea that their life is going to start at some point, once they've busted all these problems of being a woman, once we're thin and we're pretty and we've got all of our clothes and stuff and we're fabulous, that's when our life will begin. And you meet people at 48 who are still thinking that, and 58."  Fresh Air, NPR

When I heard her say this, I had an Oprah-esque "aha" moment and realized this is what I do every single day.

My life starting moment doesn't have to do with my physical appearance, instead it focuses around when/where I will settle down.  I don't know if we will live our lives in California, or the Midwest, or Ireland, or somewhere totally different but I am fixated on it.

As as I obsess over when "it" will happen, the clock keeps ticking.  Life keeps happening and I just keep waiting.  

I am a doer as well as a dreamer.  I hate to talk about things and not do them, it is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Despite this aspect of my personality, I tend to push things into the future thinking I will accomplish them when....

When what?  

I need to stop using the crutch of thinking my life will start at some point and realize that this, this right here, is my life.  It started almost 32 years {gasp!} ago.  It isn't waiting, so why am I?

Do you do this too?   

Should I just buy an iPod and stop thinking so much....?