The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Show - Part Uno

At the beginning of this reunion show, Andy Cohen seemed extremely nervous.  I think he was afraid Shray might pull out a pitch fork and snap Kim's wig off. 

I was anticipating some drama between Kim and NeNe, but apparently they had a two hour discussion (most likely while drunk) and worked everything out.  They are besties once again. 

Lisa isn't pregnant (which is sad, I like her husband, Ed).   She openly talked about having less money because her hubby's football career was over and that they moved into a smaller house that used to serve as a storage home.   Can you imagine the shame of having to move into your multimillion dollar storage home?   How em-burrising.

Oh hell naw...

I loved how Lisa rolled her eyes every time Kim spoke - especially when Kim spoke about her fictillness.  I think her exact quote went something like this:

"Yaw, so I had an illness.  It started with my thyrahd, and then was anemia. And yaw, I lost my hair.  I am loving my wiiig. The Caucasians need to catch up with the African-Americans." 

And then there was a wink and a hand clap.  I don't know, but Andy looked eaxctly like he didn't believe her.  I don't blame him.

She was also asked about her wine drinking problem and she said:

"I drink whatever I damn well please."

Andy also told Kim that viewers can't believe she is 31.  She said that last season, she didn't look good, and she admits that.  Ummm, last season...what about this season?  Sometimes I forget her age, and when I remember it, I am shocked.  She has a teenage daughter.  That means she had a baby in high school.  That means....White trash?  Imajussaying.

During a commercial break, Kim's off again married, millionaire sugar daddy/boyfriend showed up.  This was right after Kim told Andy that it was over, she don't have tiiiime for hiiiim, he won't even get dee-vorced.  Well, Papa must have heard Kim's whiny voice and came running to win her back.  Andy was childlike delighted to meet Papa, it was adorable. 

Basically, Kim was defensive about everything and was so shocked that people were curious about her life.  Obviously she loves the attention a reality tv show star gets, but she doesn't like the criticism. She handles the criticism like an immature child would handle it.  And she looked a little fat.  There, I said it.

Shray looked terrible.  Her hairpiece looked like a nicely trimmed poodle and her eye makeup just looked a mess.   I think I saw her nipple a few times.  It was disturbing.

The best was when Andy asked Shray if she was a lesbian.  She got so uncomfortable, it was wonderful.   I don't think she's a lesbian.  I think she is asexual.  I assume she has no genitalia.  And no heart.

Oh no Shray, please stop with the fancy hair-dids

Kandi talked about the death of her ex-fiance, A.J., and it was genuinely sad.  I didn't like the way that Kim was squeezing her while she was talking, but other than that, the entire clip was sad.  Andy handled it very well.  It was the realest moment of it all.  Kandi, you are real.

I'm such a good friend.

Next week is part two of the reunion special and Kim sings...oh it is going to be so terrible.  Ear bleeding terrible.  The look of humor on NeNe's face while Kim is singing is priceless.

Boring Socialites, Fake Alcoholics, and I'm Done!

I will start with The City.  (I am at work and don't have my notes with me, so some of this might be made up...)

Whitney has a new "boyfriend" named Freddie Finklemeyer.  They have been on one date, but apparently, it's very serious, because he brings his dad to their second date.  Whitney is grossed out, as she should be.  The dad's name is Frolein Maria and has a hint of a German accent???  Or maybe just a speech impedement.  The whole scene was gross and made me want to vom.

The Funklemunchers...waiting for their date with Whitney

Moving on, People's Revolution, where Whit and her 2nd season bestie, Roxy work (I considered naming my dog Roxy.  Roxy is a dog's name, not a human's name), is doing the PR for an Elle magazine event.  So of course, Whit and Roxy are going to be working on the People's Revolution side and Olivia and Erin are going to be working the Elle side. 

I was on Team Olivia for a week, but she has let me down.  Erin is still super annoying, but Olivia just sucks.  For one brief, 30 minute episode I felt bad for her.  Last night she showed her true colors.  Shining through. And that is why everyone hates her.  Olivia really hammed up the "I am a socialite who knows everyone and I am better than you" thing last night.  And I hate her. Again.  Even Whitney said not-so-nice things about her.  Scandalous!

No one likes me, but I don't care because I know everyone in this City.

Whit and Rox do some weird dance in Whit's bedroom.  It was awkward and I had to cover my eyes.  Roxy asks Whitney all about Freddie, and Whitney says he likes to bring his dad on dates and that he knows Olivia, so he must be a socialite too.  Duh!

Last season, Whit dated an unattractive Aussie rocker who cheated on her all the time.  But you know what?  He sucked just a little less than Freddie Finklemunsterbach.  Even though very little has been revealed about Freddie, the following is pretty much fact:

• In the future, he will have a wife and 2-4 kids who will live in the rich suburbs while he stays in the City during the week. 
• He will have numerous affairs, which the wife will know about, but pretend not to know about because she won't want to tarnish their "perfect" family.
• He tans too much.
• He has never spoken to a person of a different race, unless absolutely necessary. 
• He is personality-less.
• He wears purple and blue shirts fashioned out of table cloths.

Hello fellow socialite, do you like my fancy, trying to look like a commoner, shirt?

Whitney meets Jay (the unattractive Aussie rocker who cheated on her every night) to discuss Freddie.  (What a story line!)  Jay looks bored out of his mind and says Freddie sucks because he is "one of them" (I couldn't agree more) and leaves the restaurant before they even order. 

Poor Whitney is sad and alone contemplating her life as the future Mrs. Funkleman.  At least he will be able to pay for her fashion line.  It is so fashion.

Across the country, in sunny Los Angeles, The Hills gang was up to just about nothing.  Nothing happens this epsiode. (Or really any episode, but I still watch.  Hmm.)  Kristin has a party at her "Malibu house" (she needs to stop calling it her "Malibu House" because that would imply that she has another house somewhere else).

Let's have a party at my Malibu House

Kristin said JB gets one more strike, and then he's out.  He texts her and says he isn't going to her Malibu House party and she says "I'm DONE!"  Then, he shows up, and she tries really hard not to smile and jump up and down with excitement.

Ok, I'm obsessed with you...we are so not dunzo

Brody and Jade with a "y" go out to eat and discuss how jealous Jayde is of Kristin.  Jayde wishes Brody didn't flirt with Kristin and she says she is not going to Kristin's party.  She comes, sees Brody talking to Kristin, drinks a bottle of Jagermeister, and fights with Brody, who cries, "I'm DONE!"  Later, they break up. I hope it's for good this time.

I'm DONE! (And, I might love Kristin.)

In other news, Holly is still an alcoholic.  The producers make her do crazy dance moves and everyone says "Whoooaaa, what's up with Holly?  Does she, like, having a drinking problem?"  Why doesn't anyone ask this about Jade with a "y" when she drinks an entire bottle of Jager?  Or about Stacie the Bartender when she drinks cocktails in the morning?  Srsly.  Drinking a bottle of Jager might kill me and Jayde only weighs 25 pounds, so she must have a major problem if she can handle all that liquor.

Stephanie tells Heidi that Holly was drunk at the Malibu House party, so Heidi calls Holly over to have another intervention.  Have these people seen the show Intervention?  This is not how to have an intervention.  Or, have they seen that intervention episode of 90210?  Again, they just need to do a little research first.

Stephanie knows all about rehab, because she has been there (but she now drinks and looks like a drug addict).  She tells Holly that she has to go to rehab.  Holly gets mad, cries, then leaves. 

Oh no, maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this story line...

The End.

Next week looks exciting.  Why? Because it actually looks real (ish).  See, Audrina and Kristin fight over JB and if anything is real on this show, it is Audrina's (and now Kristin's) psychotic obsession with Justin Bobby.  Guys- if you want a pretty, but not so smart girl, to become ridiculously obsessed with  like you, just treat her like crap...it works for Justin Bobby!

I'm over Justin, do you think he's over me?

All You Need to Know about The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season Two

Finally, season two of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is over!  Apparently, season one was so popular that Bravo TV decided to extend this season by a few episodes.  The overall consent is that they should not have extended the season and hopefully will not do it again.   Some of the drama in these shows is real, and some is contrived.  Due to the lengthy season, Bravo had to try extra hard to make something happen and nothing happened.

Here is a little recap on each of the 5 Housewives:

Kandi: 

Sadly, since the taping of Season Two ended, Kandi's ex-fiancé A.J. was killed.  He was in a fight outside a strip club and died. 

I like Kandi because she actually has a job and makes her own money.  She just seems a lot more grounded than the rest of the women.  She doesn't get in fights, drink, spend ridiculous amounts of money on her credit cards, etc.  If When Bravo does a third season, I don't know why Kandi would come back.  Obviously Bravo wants drama and having a normal-ish person on the show does not create drama. 

The one sure fire way to have Kandi back, is if Kim wants to do an entire album.  In order to do this, Kim will need someone to manufacture it...so Bravo will need Kandi back because where else will Kim be able to record and have here voice morphed into something that doesn't provoke ear bleeding?

Lisa:

Lisa's hubby, Ed, decided that he cannot play football anymore because of his bad knee or leg or something.

Due to his lack in salary (read, no salary),  Lisa and Ed consider downsizing to a different multi-million dollar house that Ed already owns. 

Since Ed won't be receiving an NFL paycheck anymore, they need to come up with other ways to make money.  Lisa starts a crappy clothing line and paints some pictures.  Well, Lisa and Ed have no jobs and lots of bills, what should they do?  Have another baby, naturally.

Sha-Ray:

Sha-Ray still sucks because:

1. She had a ridiculously large portrait painted of herself and plans on hanging it "in the bidroom." (That isn't a typo, that is how she pronounces "bedroom.")

I know. Srsly. So gross.

2. She pronounces "bedroom" like "bidroom" and "ask" like "axe" and "fabulous" like "fabuless."  It's horrible.

3. She got in a fight with a party planner who was planning an "Independence Party" for her free of charge.  She displayed her true ghettoness in this scene.

Look at those veins...scary.

4. She had the nerve to host an "Independence Party."

5. She pulled on Kim's wig.  (Well, that was kind of funny, so maybe she sucks a little less for that move.)

Rip it off!

NeNe:

I loved NeNe last season, and after the first few episodes of Season Two, I declared her one of my favorite housewives of all time.  She really unimpressed me the second half of the season.  She was a bully and picked fights with everyone.  I am over her.  However, two of her quotes will go down in Bravo Reality TV history:

1.  "Kiiim...ain't nothin' but a low down dirty monkey with a wiiiig on."

and my personal favorite quote of the season (and quite applicable to my life, as well as many other women's lives):

2. "I'm a size 8...I could go down to a size 6.  But I don't want to...why?  Because I'm f**king HONE-gry!"

NeNe - impersonating Kim. 

Kim:

Gosh, where to start on this one??  Kim is such a hot mess.  Reasons why:

A. She wears a wig.  What does her hair look like underneath that wig?  Could anything be worse than her wig?

B. She is an alcoholic.

C. Her kids only eat fast food and grocery store cupcakes and sadly are a little chunky.  I hate to trash her kids because it isn't their fault and it's sad, but someone should tell Kim that they will probably catch diabetes.

D. She wears clothing that does not properly cover her chest.

E. She has a crappy singing voice but still insists on becoming a singer.

F.  She "spends like the bill is never going to come" (this is not helping the credit crisis).

G. She is engaged to a married man. 

The ring...the wine...Kim's two favorite things.

I could go on and on, but I think that's enough.

So, that was the season...The OC starts in a few weeks.  Here's hoping it is better than the Atl.

Blog Layouts

I have been playing around with different free blog layouts for the past few hours.  There are so many to choose from that it is hard to know where to start.

I found the current layout at Shabby Blogs.  I like it.  I think I might just keep it for a while.  I would love to have someone design my blogs for me, but that is expensive.  If you are reading this and want to redesign my blogs for free, please let me know.

Holly Montag is NOT an Alcoholic and Team Olivia!

This week’s episode of The Hills portrayed Heidi’s chipmunk cheeky sister, Holly, as the resident alcoholic.

This is what happened: Holly goes to a party with Heidi, Dr. Evil (Spencer), and Spencer’s sister, Stephanie. Holly takes shots, gets drunk, has a dance off (which looked so fun!), and stumbles around. Then, the new girl playing Stephanie Pratt tells Heidi that she’s super worried about Holly. Which is actually really funny since Steph got a DUI last weekend after leaving Holly’s birthday bash.

Oh no! Holly is drunk, but who is that girl with Heidi?

Steph suggests that Heidi talks to Holly and that she brings Spencer for support. Oh, that will be great. Who wouldn’t want Spencer around during an intervention?

Once Heidi finds out about Holly’s drinking, she is so worried! Heidi is boring and stays home trying to make sure Spencer is happy, so she doesn’t realize that it is completely normal for young 20 year olds (rich young 20 year olds) to go out and party. Heidi talks to Holly and is so concerned. Spencer tries to be nice.  He even goes as far to empathize with Holly because he is just like her.  Holly is the long haired version of Spencer. Oh no she is not.  That is way worse than being an alcoholic...just be an alcoholic.  Please.

Holly says that she will end her relationship with alcohol and orders a margarita for lunch because you know, it’s margarita-thirty! Heidi looks proud of herself for saving poor Holly from a life of alcoholism.

Holly is going to quit drinking, yay! But she has to have a margarita first.

I have a good friend who lives in the same small Coloradan town that the Montag girls are from and she knows for a fact that Holly is not an alcoholic. She is my inside source.  Don't mess with me MTV.

So there you have it -  The Hills lied. Again.

The City is on after The Hills. It is a spinoff of The Hills, which is a Laguna Beach spinoff.  MTV never stops.  I love it all.  I think I like The City more than I like The Hills, but I have no idea why.  I do know that I probably have spent too much time thinking about both of these shows.

Whitney, the star of The City, is too pathetic; she needs to stand up for herself, but I still like her.  This week’s episode was not very exciting.  Let’s see, Whit goes to a party and meets an overly tan young fella who she will date for an episode. I think he might be worse than Aussie rocker Jay.
Whitney's ex-coworker, Olivia, attends an Elle party where she mingles and wows everyone with her humongous, freaky eyes and midget like features and impeccable style. Olivia’s coworker, Erin hates her and she hates that Olivia is rich and a “social” so therefore, she already knows most of the important people at the party.

I have never liked Olivia. She is so easy to hate.  However, Erin’s whining and complaining about Olivia is actually making me hate Erin more.  I think I might be on Team Olivia.

I hate you Olivia.

Erin here’s a tip – since everyone already hates Olivia, you could have easily won, but you blew it.  Don’t complain to your boss so much, it’s annoying and don’t play the victim, also annoying.  Also, do not do such blatantly rude things, like roll your eyes or give Olivia dirty looks…all of this makes you look like you don’t know how to be a bitch.  A good bitch character isn’t so obvious about.  Take a lesson from Olivia; she has got that bitch thing down.

Erin better be careful or MTV will replace her, just like they replaced the old Stephanie Pratt.

Go Team Olivia!

Innappropriate Work Behavior

I guess it's a Monday, because these are the types of days I feel compelled to complain talk about jobs.  Not a job you love, but a job you have.  One you have to have because that is the way the world works.  (This is all hypothetical...of course.)

If you are a person who holds down a job, please note...the following questions and remarks are NOT appropriate things to ask a co-worker (specifically a female co-worker). 

 

1. "Your husband makes the big bucks.  How much money does he make?"  (If my husband made the "big bucks," I for certain would not be showing up here 40 hours per week.)

 

2. "Do you work out?" (Is that a compliment or a suggestion?)

 

3. "Why don't you wear skirts more often?"  (Because I don't want weirdos like you looking at me.)

 

4. "You look tired."  (Actually, I got a great night's sleep, but thanks for letting me know I need to get my eyes worked on...and I am not yet 30 years old.)

5. Any comments on what I am looking at online, for example, "That's a pretty dress." Or, "Mmmm, are you cooking that tonight?"  (I don't comment on your Sudoku or Nascar results, please return the same amount of courtesy to me by at least pretending you aren't looking over my shoulder.)

6. "Your husband is so much older than you, he will be gone and you will only be in your 40s." (That is never, ever appropriate.  My husband does not subsist on fast food, alcohol, cigarettes, or a dead end job, so chances are, he will live past 60.  And... I. Hate. You.)

If you are on the other side (meaning you would never say any of the above to a co-worker, or to anyone) here is a handy list you might want to print out and stick outside your cubicle (again, all hypothetical):

1. Please do not audibly burp in my presence.
2. Please do not hack up phlegm on a consistent basis.
3. Please do not blow your nose in my presence, it really disgusts me.
4. Please do not pick your nose in your cubicle, we can see you.
5. Please do not rest your hand on my back, or even the back of my chair while speaking to me.
6. Please do not speak to me when I have my head phones on, unless it's an emergency.
7. Please do not, under any circumstances, speak to me while I am eating.
8. Actually, just don't speak to me unless it's about work.
9. Please do not keep a running commentary of everything I do all day long.  I know exactly what I am doing, whether it's getting a glass of water or going to the bathroom.  I don't need a narration.
10. Please do not tell me the same joke every few days.  It is so predictable and there few things worse than predictability.

The End is Near!

Finally, the end of the second season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is next week.  I don't know why I even bothered this season, besides the wig tug, it was pretty boring.

Here are some highlights from last night's episode (in case you gave up on it completely, but still kind of want to know what happened):

-Sha-Ray met with Dwight, who tore apart her samples and her fashion show and her house and her face.  She's horrible and he just tells her that every second.  Her fashion show is next week.  I cannot wait!  I hope she becomes fashion road kill.

-NeNe went to Athens, Georgoa and saw her Aunt who raised her and her mom's house that now sits vacant and...the man who might be her biological father, awkward!  It was a sobering moment on the show.  For once, NeNe was quiet, without something sassy to say.  It was strange to see her not flailing about and saying crazy funny things.

-Lisa...I really don't remember?? Oh, her husband painted some weird picture of her.  It was all kind of cute slash kind of weird slash incredibly uninteresting.

-Kandi went to counseling with her mama and her fiancé A.J.  As we all know, A.J. was recently killed, so this was all a little weird.  Anyway, Kandi's mom is worried that A.J. is going to use all of Kandi's money to pay child support which he probably would have, had he not, you know, died.

-Kim and Sha-Ray plan Kandi and A.J. an engagement party.  It's more of a gathering of about six people.  Kandi's mom hates A.J. and it's all really uncomfortable.  Kim told the camera that everything is better without NeNe because there is only drama when NeNe is around.  She proceeded to refer to NeNe as a "moose."  So, now we know that Kim is a monkey and NeNe is a moose.  I would say Kandi is a bird, Lisa is a bunny, and Sha-Ray is snake.

-We learned that Kim pays over $12,000 per month on wigs.  Gross.  Also, this season she has an obsession with how "good looking" she thinks she is.  She is so vain and so not good looking.  Eventually all the fast food, wine, and cigarettes will catch up with her and give her a face to match that accent.

-Does anyone else wonder what Kim's real hair looks like?  I spend way too much time thinking about this, but part of me would like to see her without the wig.  Another part of me knows this could be a bad idea because I might go blind.  What a dilemma.

Next week is the finale.  Woohoo!  It will be all about The Shitty by Sha-Ray fashion show and NeNe fighting with everyone. 

The Hills are Alive!

The other day, a friend asked me if I had watched the Hills yet this season. I told her that I would not be watching it, it’s just too fake and annoying and I was over it…or so I thought. MTV is one powerful addiction.


Last night I flipped through my DVR list and saw the newest Hills episode taped and decided to check it out. Great, now I care what is going to happen with JB/Audrina/Kristin next week. Why MTV? Why do you do this to me?!

Remember when MTV used to show music videos? I don’t. Why bother with music videos when you have nearly conquered the reality show market? I mean, if Bravo burst into flames, MTV would be the clear winner.

My thoughts on this season’s cast of Hills Kids:

Kristin: The bitch is back, or so they say. I don’t think she is all that bitchy. She does look skinnier than when she was on Laguna Beach…she wasn’t fat before, but now she is skinnier. I am not sure how skinny she needs to be. Whatevs, she is much more entertaining than LC.

JB: He’s hot, but gross, but also hot. He is the number one sellout on the Hills. Why? Because he has this, “I am so cool and care about nothing attitude going on.” But really, if you are that cool, you don’t go on the Hills. Siriusly.

Lo: Why is she still on? I think she is just friends with Lauren and Lauren is gone, so she shouldn’t be a main character anymore.

Audrina: She needs to get a grip and get over Justin. At least stop talking about how she is over him. (Audrina’s consistent discussion of JB obviously proves that she is not over him.) Also, calling JB’s friend was an obvious attempt to make him jealous. Really Audrina, don’t be so boring. Lastly, her hair looked better last season, light hair just does not look good on her.

Stephanie: Who is this? This cannot be the same person that played Stephanie last season. Did they do one of those classic Soap Opera switches? Like, one day it’s Bo and Billie, and the next day an entire new person is Billie and not a word was said about it? This must have happened with Steph. MTV needs to get the actor back that played Steph last season she was much more believable.

Spencer: He is lame. And horrid. Hate.

Heidi: Well, she wants a baby. Apparently she is lonely and bored (having a job as a reality TV star isn’t very time consuming) and her marriage to Spencer must be awful. How could a marriage to Spencer be anything but awful? So, how to fix this….she will have a baby! Perfect! Babies make everything easier, better, and more fun. (That poor poor not yet conceived baby.)

Brody: It was his birthday party this week, and he is soooo old! 26! Oh my gawd.

Stacie the Bartender: Why? Why is she playing Kristin’s bestie? Does Kristin not have any actual friends, or even acquaintances, to play her friend on the Hills? STB is a sad case, whoring herself to a reality show. Maybe MTV was trying to save money and instead of casting someone else to be Kristin’s playmate, they just threw STB in there. Probably the worst thing about her is that she likes to drink leftover drinks from the night before. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, was she doing?! Was this an attempt by MTV to stir up some potential drama? Or, is STB just practicing for work? Trying to kill a hangover? It was not pretty. Kristin made a face when she saw the drink, but instead of discussing it, they just discussed Justin Bobby, of course.

Frankie: He never changes. I wonder if MTV even pays him, or if he volunteers for this crap?

The little boy that lives next door to Heidi and Spencer: Weird, and definitely not the best child actor I have ever seen (but he is cute). Though, I did laugh when he recited Speidi’s “gate code.” See, this is what is wrong…MTV is paying Speidi so much that they can afford to have a house in Hollywood with a “gate code.”

That’s everyone. Brody’s mom did make a guest appearance and it served as a shining example of what these women will turn into one day. Drunk, deflated, leathery women wearing too tight, too short turquoise dresses.

I hate what this show does to me. I hate that MTV can suck me in repeatedly. I cannot wait until next week!

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap - October 8, 2009

I just watched the newest episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta ("High Heels and Record Deals") this morning.  I was busy Thursday evening watching The Office (so good!  It makes me wonder why I have bothered with TRHofATL this season).

Following in the pattern of this season, The Real Housewives episode was boring.  There has been some great drama and much ridiculouness this season, but overall, it has just been boring.

Dear Bravo- Please never make a Housewives season this long again.  I don't want to be bored into not watching.  Thanks, Gina

In case you missed it, this is what happened (no need to watch the episode):

• Kandi went to L.A. and had a meeting at Capitol records.  She is going to sign with Capitol for her new album, which she wants to call "Blog" (stupid, I know).
• Sha-Ray made a tacky little video to promote her clothing line, She by Sheree.  She also met with Dwight and some party planners to discuss her upcoming fashion show.  Dwight was controlling and a little rude to Sha-Ray, but no one cared because she deserves it.
• NeNe had a little race to raise money for battered women.  The participants had to race in high heels and the event was called "Heel the Sole."  How clever.  Dwight wore a body suit and made someone massage his feet afterwards.
• Lisa took a pregnancy test and she isn't pregnant. Ed, Lisa's husband, finally realized that his knee is too messed up and he will not be playing in the NFL again.
• Kim went shopping at a tacky kids' clothing store and bossed a 15 year old sales girl around.  She used her American Express Black card to pay for the crappy clothes.  Kim ever so tastefully points out to Kandi that she got the card all on her own.  And Kandi said "where the hell is she getting $250,000 from?!"  Exactly Kandi. Exactly.  Kim also went to get a wig cut and talked about how good looking she was.

The End.

Don't bother watching, I will be the idiot that partakes in the useless endeavor for you.

Top 10 Moments of The Office Wedding Episode

The Office Thursday (October 8) night was everything fans wanted it to be – sweet, cry-worthy, and hilarious. There was a perfect balance of Jim and Pam’s normality and the rest of the gang’s abnormality.

Just about everyone I know saw the episode, so I will not recap it. Instead, I am going to list my 10 favorite lines/moments. I was laughing out loud throughout much of the hour-long episode, so it was hard to narrow it down…but here it is.

1. Kevin wearing Kleenex boxes as shoes.
2. Dwight’s fascination with twin’s, even though they were male.
3. Erin yelling “what else you got!” at Andy, after he did the splits and ripped his scrotum.
4. Boss-man, Michael Scott on what to give Jim and Pam, “They asked for cash, but you know, I give them cash every week. How much cash does a person need?”
5. Andy, discussing reasons why he has a crush on Erin, “She smells like my mom.”
6. Creed slurping his noodles while everyone else is vomiting as a reaction to Pam’s morning sickness.
7. Michael, telling Pam’s old-fashioned grandma (“Meemaw”) that Pam and Jim are going to name the baby after her, “they are going to name the baby after you- they're gonna call it Meemaw.”
8. When Dwight kicked the bridesmaid in the face.
9. Michael attached full cans to the back of his car - when he drove away, they all exploded.
10. The entire montage at the end in which the scenes of Jim and Pam saying their vows were intertwined with the cast dancing down the aisle.

It isn't easy to do touching moments on a sitcom without being cheesy.  The Office brilliantly accomplished a sentimental episode that was still full of wit and sarcasm.  Well done creators and cast, well done.

When did Top Chef Turn into a Long Commercial?

I love Bravo TV’s Top Chef, I think it is an excellent show. It was one of the original cooking challenge shows and has been successful each season. Now that the show is in its 6th season (set in Las Vegas) I feel more like I am watching a commercial, and not a cooking game show/reality show.

Obviously it is a great way for the network to generate advertising money and get free products, but last night, Tyler Florence was like a walking billboard for Macy’s. Has it always been like this? Maybe…but I don’t remember ever thinking “Shut up about your sponsors already.”

Let’s review-

The Quickfire – Sponsored by Cookstr.com!

I had never heard of Cookstr.com until last night, so I guess the advertising plug within the Top Chef episode was a success. I am sure that tens of thousands of people pulled up Cookstr.com after the episode, so the new cooking website got what it wanted.

The Quickfire had to do with a slot machine like thing. Each chef had to pull the handle and three words would pop up. Things like “Nutty, Stressful, Italian,” or something along those lines. The chefs then had 30 minutes to create a dish that resembled their three words.

Tyler Florence was the guest judge. I really like him and have enjoyed watching him since his Food Network show How to Boil Water. He is a congenial chef and basically found nice things to say about everyone’s dish. The dish he didn’t like was Robin’s – which was perfect because she is the most annoying (and luckiest) Top Chef contestant ever.

Even Padma slapped the smile of Robin’s face when she reminded her that “curry isn’t Middle Eastern.” Poor Robin. Actually, poor us because now we will have to listen to Robin repeat everything she did wrong in that curry mess.

Kevin won again. He made some Asian-ey thing that TyFlo loved and he won a bunch of money from Cookstr.com. Good for him, he’s a likeable guy.

Elimination - sponsored by Macy’s!

This is when the Macy’s thing really got out of control and started to drive me crazy. During the judges small talk before dinner, TyFlo droned on and on about Macy’s. It was obvious and laughable. Enough!

For the elimination challenge the chefs had to make their dishes at home, in a very small space, for the judges.

There was a Japanese judge, TyFlo, a lady chef with a backwards pony tail that covered most of her forehead, a chef with dread locks, and another guy. I don’t really remember any of them. Sorry, they all were holding large Macy’s and Whole Foods bags and the not so subtle advertising mesmerized me.

In each of the chefs’ bags, was food that they had bought at Whole Foods. The contestants drew knives in order to get their food and pair off. These types of partner things never work for everyone. Someone always loses because of his or her partner and someone always wins because of his or her partner. In this case, Robin didn’t go home because Michael I. put together a decent meal that the judges neither loved nor hated.

Judges Table – Sponsored by Padma’s Scar!

The winners are…Jennifer and Kevin (Korean BBQ) and Bryan and Laurine (Pan Roasted Halibut). The judges could only pick one chef as the overall winner, so they picked Jennifer because she made a nice tomato chutney and sauce for the Kobe beef.

As the overall winner, Jennifer won a $10,000 gift card to Macy’s. She later waved it in front of the camera and said “Kevin will probably get a suit out of this.”

Really? A suit? What does Kevin want with a suit? You should split that with him, it was a team effort. The entire nine seconds made me kind of dislike Jennifer.

The bottom two teams were Ashley (boyish looking one) and Eli (bratty one) and Ash (the guy who is cleaning brushes for Picasso) and Michael V. (the younger V. brother).

Ashley and Eli made gnocchi and prawns. The prawns were raw and the gnocchi was salty. It was bad and it was all Ashley’s fault because she made the gnocchi and grilled the prawns while Eli sat back and did nothing.

Michael V. and Ash made a deconstructed Puttanesca. There was an egg inside ravioli over a pancetta wrapped halibut. Unfortunately, while cooking the fish on the electric griddle (supplied by Macy’s – of course) a fuse blew and ruined everything.

The fish would be chewy and that lady with the weird hair would smack her lips as she ate it and know that they had cooked it wrong. The fresh Teflon from the Macy’s griddle was absorbed by the halibut and the whole thing tasted of chemicals (is what she really wanted to say, but Macy’s would revoke her position as a Macy’s culinary expert).

Alas, Ashley was the one to pack her knives and go. Now, Ashley isn’t my favorite, but I thought this was unfair. But it’s a game, and games are not always fair. Robin escaped another week and it wasn’t fair. Then Ashley cried and said a bunch of sentimental stuff.

Until next week…when Eli yells at Robin and beats her over the head with an extra large frying pan (sponsored by Macy’s).

They’re Back!!!!

Reunion shows are stupid, lame, tacky, done for the wrong reasons…yeah we get it. These are the reasons Larry David (Seinfeld creator and writer) never wanted to do a Seinfeld Reunion show.

Larry David has his own show called Curb Your Enthusiasm, on HBO. Larry plays himself on CYE. He lives in L.A. is rich from writing Seinfeld, his wife leaves him, and he does meaningless (and hilarious) stuff all day long…similar to the characters on Seinfeld.

At times, CYE can be annoying because David is self centered, kind of a jerk, and a putz. However, all of his idiosyncrasies are also funny. It is funny to watch Larry get himself in unlikely, “Seinfeld-esque” situations.

In short, Larry David is the living George Costanza. Watching CYE feels a little bit like watching a modern day L.A. version of a Seinfeld episode, and this is why I gravitate towards it.

The idea of the “Reunion” is based on the premise that Larry is constantly harassed by NBC to do a Seinfeld Reunion show. Since reunion shows are decidedly tacky, he decides to one up everyone and do the reunion on his own show.

Genius! Higher ratings for his own show, while still doing a reunion and getting the chance to remind us that he hates sitcom reunions; thus, not selling out by doing a network reunion.

The idea is too perfect; it almost worries me…what if it isn’t funny?? The first of several episodes about the reunion was on last Sunday (Oct 4th), and it was funny. It felt like old times.

If you haven’t seen it, Youtube it or look for it on HBO.

This is why I think it’s worth a watch:

1. When all four cast members (Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer) enter a scene together for the first time, my heart felt like bursting. It was just good to see old friends back together again.
2. The interaction between Larry David and the cast members is amusing. It is great to see the actors playing themselves interacting with Larry.
3. Larry getting himself into trouble with the president of NBC because he won’t let anything go is reminiscent of the humor that made Seinfeld a success.

In all probability, The Curb Your Enthusiasm version of a Seinfeld reunion is the closest we will ever get to an actual Seinfeld reunion.  Doing it this way is fitting and it’s the best way they could have done it.

Hunger - My Review

Since my husband Neil is Irish, we watch any movie that is about Ireland, the IRA, the Irish Civil War, and so on.

On Saturday night, we rented Hunger, which came out in 2008, and was recently released in the U.S. It is not yet available via Netflix, so if you want to see it, you will need to visit your local Blockbuster (if it hasn’t gone out of business…).

Hunger (written and directed by Steve McQueen) follows the final weeks of the life of imprisoned IRA member; Bobby Sands (played by Michael Fassbender… who is from Killarney, Co Kerry).

Bobby Sands was imprisoned in Maze prison in Belfast for his involvement in the IRA and ended his life on a hunger strike. The purpose of the strike was to draw attention to the fact that IRA prisoners wanted to be recognized as "political prisoners" rather than just criminals. British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was unwilling to recognize these prisoners as “political prisoners” thus several protests ensued.

Political prisoners receive certain rights that regular prisoners do not receive. One of the rights the men wanted was the right to wear their own clothes. In order to protest this, they refused to wear the prison uniforms. Throughout the movie, the men are either draped in a dirty blanket, or naked.

The prisoners also staged a "refusal to wash" strike in which they did not bathe, shave, etc. The most unwatchable part of the movie is when they show one of the prisoners wiping down the walls of his cell with his excrement. It is an absolutely disgusting visual. (Tip - do not try to eat your dinner during this movie...Neil and I both lost our appetites.)

Hunger is a short 96 minutes, but it feels longer because the subject matter is so heavy. There is very little talking throughout the movie, bar one scene between Sands and the prison Priest, Father Moran, (played by Liam Cunningham). Sands requests a meeting with the priest in order to tell him about the pending hunger strike.

In Sands’ mind, the hunger strike was his final chance to protest. The guards had cleaned the prisoners’ cells, cut their hair, and forced them to bathe. Sands felt that greater measures were necessary so he planned to starve himself to death.

This scene between Sands and the Priest lasts about 15 minutes and is extremely powerful. The two men, who both agree on the freedom of the Irish, differ greatly on their opinions of how to attain this freedom. On one side, there is a Catholic priest who believes that life should be respected on all levels; on the other side a man that was burned out of his home by the British and feels that drastic (often disregarding human life) moves are the only way to achieve freedom. Sands believed the IRA was fighting a war, while the British believed the IRA were terrorists. It is interesting how the same events can be viewed in such different ways.

Bobby Sands and Father Moran discussing the pending Hunger Strike

The other part that I found extremely poignant in this move was the side that focused on a British prison guard (played by Larry Cowan). The film silently and repeatedly shows the guard soaking his knuckles, bruised from beating prisoners, in water. Throughout the movie, the man is completely detached from his life.

In another scene, the riot police come into the prison in order for the guards to check the prisoners (look inside them for notes smuggled in during family visiting time). The prisoners have to walk naked (since they refused to wear the prison uniforms) through the line of riot police. The riot police pushed and beat the men as they stumbled through the hall of the prison.

One young guard tucks away behind a corner, and the camera focuses on him sobbing. All you can hear in the sound of a man being beaten, and all you see is the young guard crying. I found both this scene and the ones with the prison guard interesting because it showed the emotion that many men must have felt working in that situation.

The final scenes of the film all focus on Sands starving himself to death. The body does some disgusting things when it is not nourished and these things are on full display in Hunger. The actor, Michael Fassbender, lost a lot of weight so that he could dramatically depict Sands in his final days and it was extremely realistic and distressing.

Bobby Sands, played by Michael Fassbender

Overall, ten IRA prisoners died on the hunger strike before Margaret Thatcher changed the status of IRA prisoners to “Political Prisoners.”

Hunger was sad, and at times disgusting, but it was also thoughtful. It explored the idea of the ultimate sacrifice. When Sands had nothing left to protest with, he used the power of his own body, and his story is depicted in a powerful movie.

Recap - The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Episode 10

(This is about the episode that aired on October 1, 2009.  If you want to see earlier recaps, they are on my Suite101 profile.)

In episode 10 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, we saw Kim try to sing a song, get engaged, and have a birthday bash.

The latest episode of Bravo’s the Real Housewives of Atlanta was kind of a bore. Due to popular demand, Bravo decided to make this season longer than the first season. Yaaawn…this season is dragging on too long and there just is not enough Housewife drama for all these extra shows.

Kim Plans a Party

Kim is going to throw a big birthday bash for her 31st (?) birthday. She has decided to include Kandi in the festivities because their birthdays are two days apart and Kandi has been so helpful turning Kim’s scratchy, off key voice into a song.

Kim and her assistant meet with some party planners. Kim drinks her obligatory glass of white wine and swears a lot. She does not want any cheap sh*t at her party. No cheap wine, cheap liquor or god forbid mini burgers! It has to be upscale all the way, just like Kim herself.

Kandi Time

There was a lot of Kandi time this episode, and frankly, it was a bit boring. Kandi seems more and more normal and normal is not why people watch reality TV. However, it is a good balance to Crazy Kim and Horrible Sha-Ray.

First, Kandi and her fiancé, A.J., hang all her platinum records in her studio. Then, they go to lunch and discuss her big performance that is on the horizon, and then she goes to rehearsal for her performance.

At the rehearsal, an odd man with a cane limps in and barks orders at Kandi. Apparently, he is her mentor, the man in music in Atlanta (what about L.A. Reid??). Either way, he seems a little creepy, and Kandi cannot dance. She admits dancing is not her strongest skill, however she does a lot better than the average person, so she will be fine.

Towards the end of the episode, Kandi finally performs, and it is good! Lisa shows up to support Kandi. None of the other Housewives show, not even Kim. Kim’s no-show upsets Kandi, but Lisa is not surprised. She has seen Kim just toss people to the side when she is done with them. Hopefully this doesn’t happen with Kandi, she is too sweet.

New York New York

Horrible diva Sha-Ray heads to New York to check on her fashion line. She packs her Louis Vuitton luggage, puts on some ridiculous boots and heads to the Big Apple, with her kiss-ass, bestie, Tania, in tow.

While in New York, Sha-Ray goes to see her sweatshop worker seamstress, Casey. Per Sha-Ray, Casey is one of the best seamstresses in the garment district. Well, once she sees the pieces, she might change her mind. Nothing is done as Sha-Ray wanted. Casey is upset and says, “You need? Uh oh,” and Sha-Ray looks at her as if she might try to check Casey, but alas she restrains herself. It’s about time.

Kim Records “Don’t be Tardy for the Party” and Poppa is Back

Kim “record” her song and it is not pretty. First, a fancy white car pulls up to Kandi’s house and Kim jumps out and says, “Thanks for the ride Poppa!” No, not her father, her married “boyfriend” who wishes to remain anonymous. Instead, he goes by the name “Big Poppa.” That bunch is all class.

Kim admits to the camera that she and Poppa are back together and she smiles because now she can buy any ridiculous material item she wants to buy. Awww, sweet money. Who cares about betrayal! Money is nice enough to fix all.

Kim is at Kandi’s to lay down the tracks on her song, “Don’t be Tardy for the Party.” Kim is a nightmare, it’s all over the producers’ faces, but the publicity and money is nice, so they make it happen. One gentleman tells Kim that he can get her voice in key; she just needs to keep the rhythm. “What is rhythm?” Wonders Kim.

Amazingly, Kandi and company make the song sound decent. They make Kim’s voice sound un-tone-deaf. They work wonders and make us question all the pop music that is always on the radio.

Party Time!

It is the night of the party. Kim shows up in furry shoes, a dress four sizes too small, and a ridiculous engagement ring. Yes, that is right, Big Poppa proposed to Atlanta’s fairest Housewife. This is exciting for Kim, but as Sha-Ray ever so wisely points out “Isn’t he married?” Way to take the wind from Kim’s sails.

Kim is so excited and drunk! She loves her new ring and is running around showing it to everyone. Fair enough, most women would do this though usually everyone doesn’t respond in muffled shocked and horror. They were probably all thinking what Sha-Ray asked, “Isn’t he married?”

Kim and Kandi debut their new hit song and everyone is surprised. It is actually good! The guests are able to listen to Kim’s voice without their ears bleeding.

Kim says she is excited because now people will finally know that she can sing. Ummm, hate to burst her bubble, but that song is the result of many things, one of which is not Kim’s singing talent. Kandi and team are good, even Sha-Ray points out that what they did is amazing.

Where was NeNe?

Everyone’s favorite Atlanta Housewife was pretty quiet this episode. She was mulling over the fight with Kim and Kandi in Episode 9. She proclaims to not care, but it is evident that she cares. Even Lisa points out that NeNe has a good heart and still cares about Kim, no matter what she says.

What NeNe does say is one of the best lines of the season (does she think up these lines beforehand?? They are genius!) Per NeNe, Kim is a “dirty low down monkey with a wiiiig on.” Well played NeNe Leakes. Well played.

Until next week, which looks like another boooring episode. More wig pulls, Bravo, less married women taking pregnancy tests and singers (who can actually sing) meeting with record labels.

Welcome to My Useless Guilty Pleasures

I started my blog, Taste, last May and have had a lot of fun sharing my recipes, thoughts on food, thought on my job, stories about my crazy funny husband, and so on.

Shortly after starting Taste, I had an "aha!" moment, just like Oprah. I realized that I would rather sit in front of my computer and write than go to my j-o-b every day. I put two and two together and am slowly starting my career as a Freelance Writer.

I started writing for a website called Suite101. They basically accept anyone who can put a sentence together, so I didn't feel special when my application was "accepted." Instead, I considered Suite101 a great place to write about something other than food and practice writing. I wanted to write about something that I love almost as much as food….TV!

I am not saying anything for or against Suite101. There are quite a few opinions out there, some positive and some negative. It seems that the freelance writing world is split; some love it and some hate it.
What I realized is that when I would write my hilarious (they are hilarious to me) recaps of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, I was flagged. I felt so sad, and then I saw that I was flagged because readers might not understand the context.

Well....I think anyone that is an avid reality TV fan would understand my "context." A non-reality TV junkie would certainly not be reading these recaps. Siriusly.

Today, while I was at work, I had another Oprah moment - "Gina, start another blog about reality TV, celebrity gossip, etc. There simply aren't enough of them out there!" And that is what I am doing. You are welcome mom and dad, thanks for my education.

I am an avid reader of Richard Lawson’s blogs. Today, my friend Emily emailed me his latest recap of The Hills/The City (MTV). (She emailed it to me because TV.com is blocked at my job, the atrocity!)

I stifled laughter when he called his career a "useless endeavor." I had my second Oprah moment of the day and I knew that had to be the name of my new blog.

So, if you made it to the end of this post, you now know every useless thought I had today.