Innappropriate Work Behavior

I guess it's a Monday, because these are the types of days I feel compelled to complain talk about jobs.  Not a job you love, but a job you have.  One you have to have because that is the way the world works.  (This is all hypothetical...of course.)

If you are a person who holds down a job, please note...the following questions and remarks are NOT appropriate things to ask a co-worker (specifically a female co-worker). 

 

1. "Your husband makes the big bucks.  How much money does he make?"  (If my husband made the "big bucks," I for certain would not be showing up here 40 hours per week.)

 

2. "Do you work out?" (Is that a compliment or a suggestion?)

 

3. "Why don't you wear skirts more often?"  (Because I don't want weirdos like you looking at me.)

 

4. "You look tired."  (Actually, I got a great night's sleep, but thanks for letting me know I need to get my eyes worked on...and I am not yet 30 years old.)

5. Any comments on what I am looking at online, for example, "That's a pretty dress." Or, "Mmmm, are you cooking that tonight?"  (I don't comment on your Sudoku or Nascar results, please return the same amount of courtesy to me by at least pretending you aren't looking over my shoulder.)

6. "Your husband is so much older than you, he will be gone and you will only be in your 40s." (That is never, ever appropriate.  My husband does not subsist on fast food, alcohol, cigarettes, or a dead end job, so chances are, he will live past 60.  And... I. Hate. You.)

If you are on the other side (meaning you would never say any of the above to a co-worker, or to anyone) here is a handy list you might want to print out and stick outside your cubicle (again, all hypothetical):

1. Please do not audibly burp in my presence.
2. Please do not hack up phlegm on a consistent basis.
3. Please do not blow your nose in my presence, it really disgusts me.
4. Please do not pick your nose in your cubicle, we can see you.
5. Please do not rest your hand on my back, or even the back of my chair while speaking to me.
6. Please do not speak to me when I have my head phones on, unless it's an emergency.
7. Please do not, under any circumstances, speak to me while I am eating.
8. Actually, just don't speak to me unless it's about work.
9. Please do not keep a running commentary of everything I do all day long.  I know exactly what I am doing, whether it's getting a glass of water or going to the bathroom.  I don't need a narration.
10. Please do not tell me the same joke every few days.  It is so predictable and there few things worse than predictability.